Nooch SUCKS

Nooch
143 Eighth Ave.
New York, NY 10011
212-691-8600

Maybe I’m too hasty to say an entire restaurant sucks based on two meals…but that was two chances that they screwed up! But Nooch sucks! yeah I said it!

So I was in the mood for some asian food. Since I love Thai food, I decided to try out the different Thai/Asian Fusion restaurants in the Chelsea area of NYC. They have about 4 Thai/Asian Fusion restaurants within 2 blocks. I will review the others later but I have to tell you about Nooch!

Their menu just makes everything sound so appetizing. I am a big fan of the fried egg on my asian dishes. I first discovered that delicious addition at Cafetasia. Ever since then, whenever I go to a Thai restaurant I order a fried egg with my food.

I looked over the Nooch lunch menu and the Salmon Young Ginger and Rice dish jumped out at me because it had two of my favorite things, salmon and fried egg. I ordered it with the Thai fish cakes as appetizer (Lunch special comes with a main course and a complimentary appetizer)…BIG MISTAKE!

When the fish cakes came, I was pleasantly surprised! They looked succulent and had a reddish hue to them that was remeniscent of buffalo wing sauce. I kind of expected them to have that tangy sauce taste. What I got instead was dry, rubbery grossness. It tasted microwaved left over fast food of some sort…or perhaps some kind of frozen food that they microwaved when they should have fried it. Either way it was HORRIBLE. I was so disappointed but still optimistic about my main dish.

The waiter cleared the table and took away my duck sauce (which was the only thing that tasted good on the table) and put down my main course. It looked ok….but it didnt look GOOD! Usually when food is placed in front of you at a restaurant, the presentation makes you excited. Not this, it just looked like some wet soggy mass of wackness.

The salmon was sliced into strips. The food had way too many mushrooms (which some people may like, but I’m not overly fond of mushrooms…especially since I found out how theyre made! ew). I took a bite, and it tasted worse than it looked. It was just bland and wet! I wished the waiter would have asked me before he took away my duck sauce, because I had to ask for it back to completely douse my food in it! Once I covered it with duck sauce it was good enough. Yes I ate it all because I’m greedy and when you pay $12 (9 bucks plus tax and tip) dollars for lunch, you’d better eat it all no matter HOW it tastes!

I was ready to write off this restaurant all together but I thought I’d be a nice person (aka glutton for punishment) and give it one more try. I was excited to see that they had ramen , and other soups on their lunch menu! Since I’m a big fan of Japanese soups, I decided to give them one more go. BIIIIG MISTAKE!!!! If a restaurant sucks the first time, most likely its gonna suck the next time! I learned that lesson the hard way!

This time, I knew better than to order those rubbery microwaved crab cakes! I ordered the vegetable spring roles! Spring roles are such a traditional asian dish, how could they possibly mess that up right? WRONG! While they were good for the most part, they were kind of burnt…but that was the LEAST of my worries.

My main dish came. I had ordered the Bah Mee Keow Gai (Wonton Noodle Soup). The soup was FULL OF CILANTRO!!!!!! ILLLLLL!!!! Who puts cilantro in soup? And even if you do put cilantro in soup, you dont put a LOT of it! Cilantro is a really strong vegetable..you only need a hint of it to make a big impact!

So I asked the waitor if I could have another soup without cilantro. I told him that I can’t eat cilantro. He goes “its just a garnish on top…we can take it out if you want”. Um…NO! I told him that the cilantro was strong and that I taste it all through the soup. He tells me “yeah cuz we put it in there”. What kind of answer is that? I know you put it in there! Give me new soup cuz this one sucks!

I tweeted about this experience and one of my friends joked that my new soup would probably have spit in it. I’d rather have spit in my soup than all that cilantro lol (ew). So the waiter took the soup back with an attitude! Like the cost of the soup was coming out of HIS pocket…and like it was MY fault the soup had cilantro in it! If they had stated on the menu that the soul had cilantro, I would have told them to hold the cilantro! Whos fault was THAT?! Then the bus boy (guy) saw the disgarded bowl of soup, asked the waiter what was wrong with it. The waiter whispered something and they both kinda laughed and shrugged. DONT BE LAUGHING AT ME MOFO!

So the soup comes back minus the cilantro…but also minus the scallions (which I love) and minus the bulk of the noodles! My last soup had a lot of noodles, this soup did not. At first I was kind of upset, but when I tasted the noodles, they were so gross I didnt need the ones in the bowl let alone any extra.

Needless to say I took about 2 bites of the soup and asked for the check! I couldnt wait to get out of there. I guess they think having cute furniture and a DJ booth will distract u from the fact that the food is over priced and its nasty. I hate paying for stuff I dont like. I should have just walked out without paying and left that nasty soup right there, but I have too much pride for that, plus I’m not going to jail for a bowl of soup. And if you’re wondering, yes I left a tip…even though the waiter sucked. It wasnt a big tip but it was a tip!

Its safe to say I will NEVER go back to that restaurant! I give that restaurant a big fat F!