Sweet Victory! (the Insomnia Saga concludes)

Im typing this as I chow down on soft, yummy oatmeal Insomnia cookies. So Im sure you know what THAT means… I exchanged my cookies! I told you their asses were not gonna rest until I got new cookies!

Heres how it went down:

I went into the store today and I see this brunette chick…and I’m wondering “is this the same dumbass that I dealt with last time?” I was guessing it wasn’t because I could have sworn the last chick was a blonde. But now I realize it wasn’t her that was blonde, it was her BEHAVIOR.

Not saying all blondes are dumb…but if youre a blonde, you should be glad she wasn’t, because she was really living up to “blonde” stereotypes and would have set all you “legally blonde” chicks back a few college years.

With that said, lets get into the BS that ensued. So I walk in and see her standing behind the counter. I ask her if there was a manager around and she was all “ME! Im the manager!”..all proud. Like being the manager of a cookie shop is a BIG accomplishment for her grown ass. I think NOT…Unless u still have teen at the end of your age. Which clearly she didn’t. (You’re probably saying “Well she’s probably a college student”..but who gives a shyt? Act proud once u have a real job. There are people with masters degrees that work as cashiers at Wal*Mart! Maaaaan obviously they let ANYBODY into college these days..because she’s stupid as hell!)

So Im like “well I bought some cookies from here a few days ago, which were hard..and the girl wouldn’t let me exchange em”. And she lashes out like she’s crazy talkin about “IT WAS ME! I wouldn’t exchange em!”..and I was like “well Im BACK! And im here to exchange these cookies”. So she tells me “like I told u before…we don’t exchange cookies.” So I asked her “who is YOUR boss?” And she tells me that her boss is all the way in Indiana somewhere (and I WILL be looking them up)…and she doesn’t know what I expect her to do.

She had major attitude too…then every now and then, she would soften her voice to try to trick me into thinking she was being nice! Psssh Im no fool! I don’t know when white people turned into black people but she had attitude all up in her neck. Maybe SHE wasn’t black..but her neck sure was. Don’t be givin ME the black neck when im black and IM not even serving up the black neck mmmmkay?! I was all polite and she was doing her best ghetto-as-hell impression. See? Black people aren’t the only people who can act ghetto. (Sidebar: If anyone is offended by this post. I apologize…(unless youre the chick im talking about. YOU SHOULD be offended because you’re an ASS)..but I tell things just the way I feel..and this is not THEE most politically correct blog you will ever visit. Im just telling MY story. And guess who’s blog this is. If you guessed GreedySnob’s DING DING DING DING DING…you are correct. You win a chance to keep reading! To those who guessed otherwise, congratulations, you win a consolation prize of navigating to another blog that’s more suitable for your taste. And when I say “another” blog, I just mean another post on THIS Blog which isnt a rant about how Insomnia Cookies lady abused me.

Anyhoo..so the chick is all annoyed, and Im standing there like “Um..Im still waiting to exchange my cookies”..and she’s all “well I can’t give u a refund”..I said “I didn’t ask you for a refund. All I asked was to exchange my cookies for fresh ones”…so her dumbass tells me “well the best I can do is give you 2 or 3 free cookies” (isn’t that the same damn thing? She just changed the words around to make it seem like she was doing me a favor. Call it what you want lady. Pat yourself on the back and everything. Just give me my damn cookies!).

So I said “thank you! That’s all I was asking for! I will take 3! Considering it was 4 hard cookies that I bought”. So she gives be 3 new cookies…shaking her head and mumbling. She was mad as hell. I DON’T CARE! She can be mad all day. Id rather HER be mad than me! And I was getting my cookies so I was glad. Works for ME. So she
angrily shoved the cookies across the counter. I gladly took em..and no I did not snatch em. I let her be an asshole all by herself. I said thank you and threw the hard ass cookies in the garbage. I shook my head in disgust at her stank attitude and peaced out.

Overall it worked out. Yeah I took a loss of one dollar..but hey..better $1 than $4! So im good. And if you’re wondering..no, I will NOT stop going into Insomnia cookies for my cookie fix. Me not buying 4 dollars worth of cookies once in a while isn’t gonna hurt anyone but me. I have nothing against Insomnia cookies on 8th street or Insomnia cookies as a whole. They have great cookies (when they’re not hard like rocks). Its just that ONE chick who I have a problem with! Plus, considering she hates me now, it will give me joy to go in there with a smile on my face while she serves me cookies. And she can’t lick ‘em or do anything vile to them because they’re already made and I can see her when she packs them. So to lick MY cookies she’d have to lick everyone’s cookies (ooh that didn’t sound right lmao)

So we are still Insomnia Cookies fans arent we guys!? We just know to taste our cookies before we leave the store!